The Love That Grounds Us
By: Donna Marie Marino
Every February, we’re surrounded by reminders of love: cards, roses, glittery hearts in every storefront. And while I don’t mind the playfulness (and yes, the chocolate), I’ve been thinking more and more about the quieter kinds of love.
The kind that doesn’t need a holiday (or a Hallmark card) to be felt.
The kind expressed in gestures so subtle they’re almost invisible:
A steady hand on someone’s back.
A warm glance across the room.
A moment of stillness between two people where no one needs to fix, solve, or explain.
These are the moments that define the relationships we value most. In therapy, we call this attunement: the practice of being present to someone else’s emotional state, of noticing what they need (sometimes even before they do), and responding with care.
Attunement is the foundation of emotional connection. It says:
I see you. I feel with you. I’m here.
And while it’s a clinical skill therapists hone in grad school, it’s also deeply human.
Turning Toward: The Small Gesture That Changes Everything
In couples therapy, one of the most impactful tools we teach is the Gottman concept of turning toward.
Drs. John and Julie Gottman have spent decades researching what makes relationships work. Through their work, they discovered that the biggest predictor of a relationship’s success isn’t how well couples communicate during conflict. It’s how they respond to each other in everyday moments.
When one partner makes a small bid for attention like a sigh, a shared joke, a question like “Did you see that sunset?”, they’re inviting connection. And in that moment, the other partner has a choice: to turn away, to turn against, or to turn toward.
Turning toward doesn’t require grand gestures. It might mean pausing to say, “Tell me more,” or putting down your phone to make eye contact. It might simply be choosing curiosity over defensiveness.
Over time, these small acts accumulate. They build safety. Trust. Love.
They’re the glue that holds people together.
And they’re a reminder that love isn’t just something we feel.
It’s something we practice.
Presence as Love
In a world that often equates love with intensity, it’s easy to overlook the power of simple presence.
To sit with someone in their sadness without trying to fix it.
To listen to someone’s truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
To stay in the moment instead of rushing to the next thing.
These are not passive choices, they are courageous ones.
They say: You don’t have to be alone in this.
At Armonía, presence is one of our deepest values. It’s what allows us to meet each client where they are; not with assumptions or agendas, but with open-hearted respect.
And in our own lives, presence is how we turn love from an idea into an action.
Not just on holidays. Not just in romance. But every day, in every kind of relationship.
Love as Service: The Heart of Our Work
When I think about love in the context of our work, I don’t mean romantic love.
I mean the kind of love that shows up. That listens. That holds space.
It’s the kind of love that brings our therapists to this work in the first place, and keeps them showing up, even when they’re walking through their own hard seasons.
It’s the kind of love that asks: How can I be of service to someone else’s healing?
And then quietly answers that call, hour by hour, session by session.
This kind of love isn’t always obvious. But it’s embedded in everything we do; from the care with which we listen, to the thoughtful way we design our space, to the commitment we have to making therapy feel accessible and human.
And I believe our clients feel that love, not because we say it, but because we live it.
Heart-Centered Leadership
As a leader, I’ve learned that love can also look like trust.
It’s in how I aim to guide the team; the team that has put their trust in me; by creating the kind of environment where people are free to be themselves, instead of micromanaging or dictating every step.
To ask questions.
To make mistakes.
To grow in their own direction.
Heart-centered leadership means being a guide, not a set of rules. It means offering support, but not control. It means believing in people enough to let them figure things out for themselves, and standing beside them while they do.
It’s not always easy. But I’ve found it creates something far more meaningful than compliance: it creates ownership. Integrity. Authenticity.
And for me, that’s love in action.
If This Season Feels Tender…
I know February can stir up a lot.
For some, it’s joyful and celebratory.
For others, it’s complicated, lonely, or filled with grief.
Love touches every part of the human experience including our longing, our loss, our deepest hopes.
So if this season feels tender for you, please know you’re not alone.
Love is still available in forms you might not expect:
A friend who checks in.
A therapist who holds space.
A quiet moment where you feel connected to something bigger than yourself.
Even the act of reflecting on what love means to you is a form of turning toward yourself.
And that, too, is love.
This month, I invite you to notice the small acts of love all around you and to offer them when you can.
Not the performance of love, but the presence.
From all of us at Armonía, we’re holding you in heart.
We’re so grateful to be walking this journey with you.
Happy Valentine’s season.